Does the following scenario sound familiar at all? You are out with your friends at a bar and you see this guy who you think is beyond hot. I mean, ridiculously attractive and you find yourself wanting to go over and make out with him right then and there. By the grace of god you end up talking to him, making out with him a little bit (in front of your friends even) and exchanging contact information. You then proceed to float home on the sexual endorphins rushing through your body.
The next day you rehash the amazingly hot, connected, fun evening you had with mister hottie mchottie, over and over again. Everytime you remember a new detail. “The way he squarely looked me in the eyes with such intensity and desire.” “The way he would try even harder to be funny as he saw how much I loved to laugh.”
Every memory cements in your brain that “this guy is so freaking incredible. He is seriously EVERYTHING I am looking for: smart, funny, good looking, has his shit together!”
One small problem. You don’t know this guy from the random stranger who just checked out your groceries at the supermarket. You met Prince Charming literally 24 hours ago. Yet you know, ‘KNOW IN THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH’, that this guy is ‘THE GUY.’ This is where it goes from present moment to fantasyland.
You then begin to text or call incessantly. You wonder why he is not getting back to you. You make up a bunch of excuses for him. “He is probably super busy.” “Maybe he did not get my text?” Which feeds the insecurity and causes you to reach out even more. You have the image of your wedding day so clear in your brain. How could he NOT be the one??
Usually, that moment where the idea of what could be surpasses reality, you have officially bought your ticket aboard ‘The Crazy Train. Destination: Disappointment and Heartache’. Thing is EVERYONE has been on the crazy train at one point or another in their lives: girls, guys, gay, straight, everyone!
First thing’s first. Breath!! It is going to be okay. We have ALL been there before and there is a way to get off the train!!
To make you feel better I am going to share a little story. I had that crazy train experience myself last year. Met a friend of a friend at a party. Thought he was intriguing. Exchanged a couple of messages that were lengthy and super interesting. Hung out as a group again and saw him getting attention from some other girls and will admit that the green eyed monster showed up for a quick guest appearance.
Soon after, the runaway thoughts started. I imagined us going on super fun dates. I envisioned us making out and how hot the sex would be. I read and re-read our past messages. I compared him to my “list” and remarked on how he “had so many things” on it.
To his credit, he is a sweet guy, smart, cool and good looking. However, truth was we had not spent more than 10 hours together total! Even I have to talk myself off of a ledge sometimes. Trust me when I say that in these types of situations, friends do not help. Nothing they say will make a difference. There is no reasoning with the unreasonable (aka talking sense to a ‘crazy’ person). They could pinpoint the 20 ways he is not a good fit for you, but all you are able to see is “He is the one!”
Only thing you can do in the moment is realize that you are actually ON the crazy train in order to be able to get off. Once you see that you are living in the fantasy, you can then consciously step back and proceed to take a more objective look at who this person really is and if they are actually what you want.
Super important tip: Do not JUDGE yourself. This will only make matters worse. You will make yourself crazy admonishing yourself for how crazy you are and why you can’t just ‘let things be.’
If all else fails, change modes of transportation. Jump off the train, get in your car and drive to the nearest spa for a massage. Why? Why the hell not?! You can never go wrong with some pampering and exquisite self care.
What are some of your experiences with the crazy train? Any tips or tricks to share for getting off? As always, I would love to hear from you so leave a comment below! If you have not already done so, go on over to my Facebook page and Like it. Also, get on my newsletter for updates, announcements and surprises (see below). XO
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