Question:
I need your help!! This guy I am dating is super awesome. Our talk went great. Still don’t know if we’re a great fit, but I’m super happy we did it and it’s been awesome. BUT…he’s a TERRIBLE kisser. OMG. Like I totally want to avoid him because of it. And I’d really like to try something different this time. Communicate about it. But I have no clue what to say. I thought I could use your expertise and you could help me with this. HELP OH WISE ONE!
Answer:
9 times out of 10 your guy does not realize he is not the best kisser in the world, let alone in town. In his mind he may be a Don Freaking Juan. And why wouldn’t he? If the other women in his life have not given him any tips or pointers, how WOULD he know what his skills are like in the making out department?
So this is where you come in. It is your job to teach him what turns YOU on. When it comes to kissing, what do you like, what gets you off? When faced with that situation, our first reaction usually is to go to “I don’t like when you do that” or “Could you try not do XYZ?”. Yes it is good to know what you don’t like, however only problem with that technique is that it will shut your guy down, guaranteed. It is not as much about WHAT you say, as much as HOW you say it.
If the outcome you want is for the kissing to be amazing, then talk about what would make it amazing. The key is this: “Give him positive reinforcement of the things you like and in a super sexy way!” As soon as he does something you enjoy (maybe he lightly bit your lip), tell him! Right after he does it! “Ooooh, I really like it when you bite my lip like that.” Be flirty, be seductive, and give him feedback in the moment!
We all know the saying ‘you can attract a lot more flies with honey than vinegar’. In this case, we are wanting a lot more awesome make out sessions and that begins with enticing your partner with sweet words and sexy body language! Your guy wants to please you, promise. You just gotta give him some direction as to how.
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