We have these beliefs, formed when we were kids, around how life and love works. We pick them up either from our parents, our teachers, our neighbors, family, friends, etc. We are sponges and conscious or not, the messages we receive growing up sink in and form our beliefs.
A belief is an acceptance of something as true or real. Where it gets tricky and harmful is when the belief we have limits us and creates a result in our lives that is not working for us. To give you an example: My belief of “I don’t deserve true love” or “I am unlovable” inevitably will sabotage my relationship because deep down I don’t trust affection or am always afraid they will leave.
If our beliefs create our thoughts, and our thoughts create our realities, then the flavor of your belief will ultimately be responsible for the flavor of your reality.
You cannot project attraction if deep down you believe that you will never find love, in other words, you are not attractive. Our beliefs are subconscious a lot of times and show up in all sorts of ways.
If I believe (think) that love will NEVER come my way, guess what? It won’t.
To change the belief, I have got to put more energy into the opposite belief:
“I am deserving of so much love and I WILL experience deep, meaningful, passionate love.” That is why mantras are so powerful. They help to create new truths, new beliefs for us.
A good article on Limiting Beliefs is written by Karen Kimsey-House (Founder and CEO of The Coaches Training Institute):
Last thing to add: Perspectives. Which are defined as “a view or vista. A mental view or outlook”. So shifting your perspective will start to shift your belief. For example, if you no longer choose to SEE love as hard or unattainable or heart-breaking, eventually you will start to BELIEVE that to be true.
The way I look at it is start building evidence to prove your case wrong when it comes to your outdated beliefs!
Now it’s time to take examine your beliefs so that you can let them go and make room for the new ones that will bring in the love life that you have been dreaming of!
REMINDER: Be gentle with yourself. You are working to take the veils off, which for a long time, have covered the inner light that is what truly attracts others to you. At any time, we do the best we can with what we know. We are learning. Look at this through the lens of curiosity and love.
1. Noticing the beliefs
Imagine in your head your ideal relationship. Simply spend a couple of minutes envisioning it and relish the picture that comes to mind.
Now pay attention to the voices that start popping up to try and prove the contrary. Voices like “Who do you think you are to have this kind of relationship?” or “Who is going to want someone with so many issues?”
Write out a page of all of the limiting beliefs (as much comes out). This will allow you to be aware of them, as well as create an opportunity to purge this negative way of thinking.
2. Honoring the Past
Next, pick the three main ones to work on. The big, nasty suckers that are glaring at you as truth! For each one of these beliefs, answer the following questions:
In what ways has this belief served or helped me in the past?
In what ways has it protected/looked out for me?
3. What is NOT TRUE about these beliefs?
Time to dismantle the beliefs by coming up with the opposite. So underneath each of the top three limiting beliefs you came up with above, create a list of the un-truths. Why is this no longer true for you? How is this limiting you? Come up with as much proof as possible as to why this belief is no longer true and/or why this belief is no longer working for you. Even if it’s a stretch, write it down.
4. Creating new beliefs
For each of these three limiting beliefs, come up with an opposite belief (a new perspective). What is your current truth? What do you want to create moving forward? You get the opportunity to design a whole new world. Make it a juicy one!
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As a thank you, you will get a surprise from me as well … an in-depth worksheet where you list out your ideal partner and relationship. When you are clear, they appear…It works like magic I tell ya. XO