I love birthday week. The most recent of early birthday celebrations was an awesome dinner and drinks with a dear friend. Richard who I have known for 20+ years is all about us having adventures together and living it up and boy did he pick a pretty swanky spot.
We were definitely dressed to impress.
We hit the rooftop bar soon after we got to the restaurant and proceeded to jump on the tipsy train.
I was loving the environment, soaking in everything, and in the mood to celebrate.
But you would think I was turning 13 and not 35.
I gushed over the cute guy at the host stand as soon as I got to the restaurant and became officially boy crazy after our server came to introduce himself.
Of course it never helps when your date is a long-time gay friend who effortlessly fans those inappropriate flames.
Flirting ensued, at least on my end. That I was sure of. I was not going to give him any reasonable doubt as to my interest in him.
Then came the infamous crossroads moment … dun Dun DUN!
Do I leave my number?!?
I had flashbacks of being 23, having brunch in West Hollywood with friends and leaving my number for our waiter because I thought he looked like James Dean.
As I was reminiscing over this with Richard, he asks if that was the hot Russian actor that I dated for a few months?
The answer – yes, yes it was. Good times all the way around.
So after I came back to present day, aka 35 year old Natalie, I thought to myself “What do I DO??” I was flip flopping between walking away without giving him my number or leaving him a note.
What do I end up doing?
Saying FUCK IT.
That’s right …
I sneakily put my business card in the bill holder, telling him on the card that it was nice meeting him and to call me, then proceed to bolt out of there with my friend leading the way so that I am not around when he sees my card.
We had to time it just right and then did a mad shuffle towards the exit. Needless to say, I giggled all the way to the elevator and laugh even writing about it now.
There was something so exhilarating about it. Makes me want to puff out my chest with pride.
Maybe it was literally not caring about what happened next?
He could end up calling me, which would be fuckin great. I mean he was a total hottie with his deep voice, facial hair and sweet demeanor. Richard took one look at him when he first approached and as he walked away says, “He is totally your type!”
He could end up not calling me, which would be a bummer but who cares really? C’est la vie. My life would be no different than it is today. He is not the only sexy server in the proverbial sea of fine fishies.
Besides, it wasn’t about him. It was about me going after what I want and not allowing fear to turn into regret.
Mission accomplished in that sense.
I now have another awesome story of avoiding the “What If” loop of regret.
One thing is clearer after tonight’s exciting antics:
Some of the best stuff have come following statements such as “Why The Fuck Not?” or “Fuck It” or “Fuck It Why Not?”
Those moments were traveling around the US in an RV (not once but twice), living and working in Costa Rica, experiencing love in Austin, working at Google and finally landing in my cottage home.
You never really know how things will turn out.
This guy could be my next steamy love affair.
Now that thought definitely makes my inner 13 year old girl simultaneously giggle and blush.
Ya just never know so all the more reason to throw caution to the wind and say fuck it more often in love!
Now your turn …
What is something in your love life that both scares and excites you? Then say to yourself Fuck It and do it anyway!
Feel free to report back as I would love to hear all about your shenanigans 😉
Photo Credit: Flickr/Katiekutthroat
If you have any questions at all, you know where to find me!