Let Go of the White Knuckles

White Knuckling It

Accept. Let Go. Surrender. Regardless of the words you choose to convey the action, releasing expectations will result in some surprising benefits. Regardless of the area of your life or the person, being able to be OKAY with what was, what is and what may be is the key to freedom and joy.

Think about when you are driving. Driving instruction says that “While driving, your hands should rest comfortably at 10 and 2 on the wheel”. Notice the word comfortably. They are not referring to the grip of death on the steering wheel, but a natural, easy placement of your hands so that you are able to react optimally while driving.

The reason comfort is recommended, as opposed to strong-holding, is that when we are tense, we are unable to be very present. Our reflexes are not as sharp. We are anticipating all of the bad things that may happen and trying to prepare for them. Apparently mountain bikers are on board with the ‘Loosen Your Grip’ philosophy as well. Same goes for life and relationships. If you are white knuckling it with your dating, friendships, family, sex life, can you imagine how much energy you are putting out and stress you are letting in?

Once you accept things as they are, let go of expectations, and relax, anything is possible. You will be pleasantly surprised by whatever shows up.

Counter intuitive information I know. Sometimes the best way to explain is by giving an example. Since we all love stories, here is a little one for your reading pleasure. About a friend of mine. Of course.

My friend was dating up a storm earlier this year. She simultaneously was exploring her sex and sexuality. Her mission was not ‘find a boyfriend’, it was ‘explore, practice, learn and grow.’ To have connected, pleasurable, honest and fun experiences with guys. Yet along the way she found herself aboard the crazy train (future blogpost to come).

Soon after, she decided to take a hiatus mid-year from dating. The impetus? She was feeling out of control herself, therefore was putting the clamp down on her interactions with guys. Her expectations were beginning to consume her in a not so positive way. Having that time was crucial for her piece of mind and clarity around what she wanted and needed.

The magical part about the hiatus was what it brought shortly afterward. Since she was not obsessing about dating and guys, two guys popped back into her life that rocked her world in the bedroom. Once she relaxed her death grip, she was able to be way more present and open to receiving. She was consciously along for the ride. Instead of the usual over analyzing and stressing, she surrendered to all of the pleasure available to her.

Now to turn the table. In what areas of your life do you need to do a little letting go? What would be possible were you to surrender and ‘go with the flow’? Leave a comment below and let’s talk!

CS Photoshoot II

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As a thank you, you will get a surprise from me as well … an in-depth worksheet where you list out your ideal partner and relationship. When you are clear, they appear…It works like magic I tell ya. XO


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