Ladies … thought I would do a bit of myth busting for y’all. I know this is something we women ponder all the damn time:
“What turns guys on? Is it looks, smarts, personality? What?!?”
So instead of getting all coachy on you this time, I decided to take a mini survey of the guys in my life (both platonic and romantic in relationship) and share those findings with you.
Here it is, straight from the stallions’ mouths:
“Confidence trumps everything. If you feel hot, not that you are trying to convince yourself, but like really love yourself then that is such a big turn on. Looks are important. I know it’s taboo these days to say that beauty matters, because we’ve gone totally overboard with it, but I need to be attracted to my partner. However, everyone finds different looks hot. Also knowing what you want and what turns you on and asking for it and not being needy at the same time is a delicate balance. Open Mindedness is super important to me. Sex is all about being 100% as open, raw and vulnerable as possible.”
~ Aaron Steinberg, Life Coach, Oakland, CA – Check him out at Project Love
“Looks. Outgoing looks. Colors and skin. Jewelry. Makeup. Confidence. In that order.”
~ Brock Harris, Silverlake, CA
“Smarts for sure. Looks too, but I don’t narrowly define what I think is attractive. I need to get along with the girl as well, so I guess that’s chemistry?”
“Turn ons (in general): Confidence. Warmth. Independence. Physically, in this order: Eyes. Ass. Thighs.”
~ Thomas H., Cardiac Specialist Nurse, Dallas, TX
(Oh and thank goodness for Thomas’ idea of turn on because I, like lots of women I know, definitely have ALL of those things – including the ass and the thighs.)
Basically after my research, this is what I found … IT ALL VARIES! Every guy has a different gauge on what they find to be a turn on!
There is no cookie cutter anything. What is one man’s ‘trash’ is another man’s ‘treasure’ and beauty definitely is in the ‘eye of the beholder’. Yes … I can get carried away with the idioms.
So ladies, ditch the fitness magazines, quit the crazy diets and stop obsessing over your looks. Focus on being yourself, in all of your quirky, beautiful, amazingness.
Be you, be confident and most importantly, know what you want – both in life and in love! When you do, it will show and THAT is what will attract the guys to you like bees to honey! Promise.
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Wishing you all RAD love and RADICAL sex!
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