One day recently, for no particular reason, I started feeling weepy and sad. It made no sense at all since everything was going really well. When I quieted down a bit and did some digging, the words that surfaced as faint as a whisper were “None of this is real or lasting, I don’t deserve love, I am broken”. There it was again, my limiting belief. That old tape of “He is going to leave me. I am not lovable. I will never experience true, unconditional love.”
What are your beliefs?
This limiting belief has been the root of many of my sabotaging actions during the course of my dating career. One of those actions being that I leave before they do and avoid getting ‘hurt’. Another common one is acting in such a way to push them and they do end up leaving, creating the very thing I was afraid would happen. When I did a little more digging, I realized that this new relationship I am in is triggering me left and right. The more we get to know each other and the closer we become, the more I want to run.
However my awareness of my beliefs is what is helping me recognize and start doing the work to heal, but from a loving and understanding place. At least I was able to be compassionate with myself since I knew this was a deep rooted hurt that was surfacing. Instead of beating myself up or spending a ton of time wondering “WHY?”, I allowed myself to feel the emotions. I went to the beach to be alone and close to the healing effects of the water. I cried. I stopped to smell the roses to remind myself that I am loved (literally the bouquet of roses I received on Valentine’s from said guy).
But the piece that was different? I reached out for support, which is something I have never done in the past. I could have gotten sucked into the downward spiral of seeing my belief as true because it sure does feel true in the moment. I decided that was not going to happen this time around and nipped that shit in the bud!
Right away I sent a message to the guy I am dating and communicated what I needed: some long distance TLC and virtual hugs and kisses. His initial response: “I wish I could give short distance hugs and kisses. I give you all the positive vibes I can! Everything okay?” When he asked me that, here (again) I chose to be honest and vulnerable. I shared with him about my recent episode of doubt and fear. I mean the literal voices coming up in my head.
Thank goodness I did because what he responded with was exactly what I needed to hear to counter my sabotaging voices. His reply: “That is so wrong that feeling. You absolutely deserve everything good in the world. Accept it!” You have no idea how comforted and understood and seen I felt in that moment. Which is exactly how I want to be loved. And he had a point about accepting this as my new truth. I deserve everything good in the world!! Truer words were never spoken. Same is true for all of you!
Ask yourself the following questions: What are your limiting beliefs? How have these beliefs been getting in the way of having what you want, especially around love? How are these limiting beliefs no longer true? What are some beliefs you can focus on creating as your new truth?
Would love to hear what came up for you reading this post. Feel free to share some of your beliefs below and if you need some coaching around them, ask! 🙂 Also, if you are not on the newsletter, go ahead and sign up below so that you are updated of coming events and the latest content on the site!
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As a thank you, you will get a surprise from me as well … an in-depth worksheet where you list out your ideal partner and relationship. When you are clear, they appear…It works like magic I tell ya. XO
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