Throwing Spaghetti at Love

Business and love are so intimately connected I am realizing. Not just for the fact that one impacts the other. I am starting to see how much the way you act in one area of your life, really does mirror how you show up everywhere else.

Recently I had a series of events happen in my business life that had me questioning the way I am approaching love and life.

August of this year, I decided that I would start throwing spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks regarding my business. I was getting to the point of feeling not super excited about how I had initially structured it and felt it was time to shake things up.


With that, I did my very first set of wish list classes.  They were really remarkable in what it opened up for folks on the calls.

You could see light bulbs going off in regards to how the way they had been operating this whole time when it came to relationships was getting in the way of them having their ideal relationship.

It was fun and super fulfilling for me.

For the next month (September) I thought let me try something completely different. What I dreamed up sounded great (on paper) and so off i went … coming up with the structure, the content, the logistics for signup and payment etc. It was all pretty cool in my opinion.

Only problem? I wasn’t excited about it.

As I was pondering on this dilemma, I had one of those ‘Oh my god the world makes total sense now’ moments. I thought, well hell, no wonder no one is signing up. I have all this weird energy around it.

I am DOING all the things I need to do around it – post it, talk about it, etc yet the results are speaking for themselves. No one was interested.

When we have weird expectations or limiting beliefs that have us blocked or less than excited about a situation or goal, it will get in the way of you having what you want. It is sneaky silent sabotage thing that we unconsciously do to be super frank.

Such is life as is dating and relationships. My belief that ‘I will never find a good guy who will treat me well or take care of me’ will prove that right. I may be out there dating a bunch, having a nice time, but it will not get me any closer to my ideal partner.

I will keep dating and keep ‘not having much luck’.

It really is that intertwined. When I looked at my love life, I realized a similar thing. I was holding onto a relationship that on paper seemed great and for the most part was pretty cool, however it didn’t FEEL right.

I was holding on very tightly to the idea or the dream of the relationship, as opposed to being present to the realities of it and how it was impacting me.

What needs to happen when finding yourself stuck, for whatever reason, is taking a good hard look at the situation and your motivations behind them. Only then can you course correct. Completely okay to change your mind.

At least you tried it a certain way and can now speak from experience. It’s a great thing in my opinion, because you feel things out instead of analyze them to death. You learn, you grow, you adjust.

Going back to my biz example, when I took the time to look at my lack of enthusiasm with my classes I realized, I don’t want to do them. Not now anyway. What did excite me was the wish list classes.

Yet they were not quite it either as to how I wanted to make an impact.

Basically took my own advice and did an autopsy, not just of the classes, but of my business overall! Looked at what works (for me), doesn’t work, what I do like, what I want more of, less of etc.

Autopsies are something I talk about and coach around all the time – doing ‘autopsies’ on your past relationships to extract the learning and apply that moving forward.

In regards to my business was this important conclusion: Do whatever feels right/good.

Instead of trying to fit into what we think we should do or settle for something that is not exactly what we want (or are passionate about), follow the passion.

Know, also, that it may change. For this carefree spirit, it is not about picking one thing and doing that forever and ever.

“Your life, your work, your way.”

It is about keeping that adventurous, spontaneous feeling alive and well. They are big values of mine!

It is about having that same energy when it comes to LOVE! I don’t want to change who I am in the world for my business OR my relationship!

I may be ‘throwing spaghetti at walls’ my whole life. And you know what, that is OKAY.

Until I know what is right for me, I will experiment. I will test waters. I will try things on and see how they fit.

I may want to get married and travel around with my partner for an indefinite amount of time, calling everyone in the world our home.

I may decide to adopt kids as opposed to having my own.

I may decide to have multiple relationships throughout my life (even at the same time)!

And these are all more than OKAY options.

“Your life, your love, your way.”


CS Photoshoot II

P.S. If you would like to be kept in the loop regarding future posts, events, classes and/or some plain ol’ ‘you can have the love you want’ inspiration, sign up for the newsletter below or by clicking HERE.

As a thank you, you will get a surprise from me as well … an in-depth worksheet where you list out your ideal partner and relationship. When you are clear, they appear…It works like magic I tell ya. XO


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