Believing in Magic … Especially After Heartbreak

I have had the latest Coldplay song Magic literally on repeat the last few days.

For those of you who have not heard it, take a moment and do so now. Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. I can wait. (Twiddling thumbs oh so patiently)

Just to cover all of the bases I am also including the lyrics below (chorus omitted):

Call it magic
Call it true
Call it magic
When I’m with you
And I just got broken
Broken into two
Still I call it magic
When I’m next to you

Call it magic
Cut me into two
And with all your magic
I disappear from view
And I can’t get over
Can’t get over you
Still I call it magic
It’s such a precious jewel

Wanna fall
I fall so far
I wanna fall
I fall so hard
And I call it magic
And I call it true
I call it magic

And if you were to ask me
After all that we’ve been through
Still believe in magic
Oh yes I do
Oh yes I do
Yes I do
Oh yes I do
Of course I do

The parts that get me every time are about being broken in two, wanting to fall so far and so hard (in love), and the fact that if you were to ask him after all that he has been through if he still believes in magic. And his answer … “Yes I do, of course I do.”

Jeez … I’m tearing up again just reading the lyrics.

Besides the fact that I’m a total crybaby, those words move me. Deeply. They have me connecting to myself in that raw and vulnerable way.

They force me to ask myself if I believe in magic, especially when it comes to love and loss and heart desires.

And trust me … I have had my fair share of ‘break ups’ whether they were romantic or platonic:

  • Dad committing suicide when I was 9
  • Godfather (and uncle) disappearing when I was 12
  • Having to separate myself from toxic situations (and family) on more than one occasion
  • Ending an engagement of two and a half years
  • Gut-wrenching heartbreak after two attempts of being together

My heart has broken in two, several times over.

But it had to. It had to crack open, again, and again, and again.

That was the only way I could get to that sweet spot, that tender spot. The spot that knows what life is truly about and what that looks and feels like for me.

One of my favorite Kahlil Gibran excerpts about love talks about this even more poetically:

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.

After all of these break ups and heartbreaks, I am even more moved by the healing power that love is and its ability to give us hope.

Because something dies all the time. Such is life. Ups, downs, good, bad, highs, lows. But that does not mean the rest of us stop living.

After all, the rainbow comes AFTER the storm. A mystical sight indeed.

Magic is believing in the beauty that inevitably shows up after the breakdown.

That beauty and brilliance? It’s waiting for you, right on the other side.

But it takes faith. Because if you don’t believe in it, you won’t be able to see it, even if it is standing right in front of you … magnificence and all.

It’s been 7 months since my last relationship ended. And my heart still aches thinking of how much I loved that man and how unbelievably much I wanted it to work.

There was a while there where I thought “I’m good. If I never love again, if I never get to experience another relationship, I am okay. Because I don’t know if I can open myself up like that again.”

Yet as the saying goes, time has a way of slowly but surely healing those wounds. Time and love. Love from friends and love from myself.

I realized just how much I fucking learned from that last one. About myself and about love.

I know that relationships are not just about love but about the day to day acts of kindness and respect and connection.

I learned that we are all hurt and broken and scared in some way, but can work through that with the right person instead of running away and wondering why the hurt keeps happening over and over.

The lessons are sinking in with each passing day. As opposed to feeling like I am living in a fog, as I had been the past half a year, things are finally coming back into focus.

The sky seems bluer. The mountains look stronger. The clouds appear to be fluffier. Even the birds seem to be chirping louder.

I am ready. And so are you. Even if not, right this second.

We all are deserving of that feeling of being so unbelievably adored and cared for that it fills our whole being with peace and a sense of wonder.

But you have to believe … believe in the magic of love.

And if you were to ask me
After all that we’ve been through
Still believe in magic?
Oh yes I do
Oh yes I do
Yes I do
Oh yes I do

Feature Image Photo Credit: Flickr/thomasrousing

CS Photoshoot II


P.S. If you need some support around a heartbreak or a reminder to believe in magic, I would be honored to help. Check out my Rad Love Coaching page to learn more. XOXO

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