This week’s Ask The SEXpert is being answered by an expert on breakups, in my opinion … Miss Sally Hope.
How about a primer on letting a past romantic partner go?
A: The best way to let anything go is to allow yourself to feel exactly what you’re feeling. A lot of times, especially with breakups and relationships we think we shouldn’t feel certain ways. That it isn’t ok to still miss our exes.
Or we feel shame that we’re not “over” the relationship yet. The truth is that you may never be “over” the relationship in the way you think you should be. Pain is painful and we can’t erase the past.
But what we can do is be aware of how those things are making us feel. Have a consciousness about it all. The second you want to push away your feelings is the second you’re actually creating more of that undesirable feeling. Resistance creates persistence.
So my suggestion is to FULLY allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling. When you miss her, allow yourself to fully feel what it feels like to miss her. If you’re sad…be sad. And do whatever you need to do, whether that’s cry, or punch a pillow, or roll around on the floor.
The name of this game is to be wherever you are. That is the only way for a feeling to ultimately disappear.
Sally Hope is a Life Coach, writer, and leader of the Wildheart Revolution where she teaches people how to live their own versions of their best lives via personal adventures. She loves hot pink lipstick, puns, guns, crosswords and cowboys and when she’s not at the office coaching and writing, you’ll find her country dancing at the honkey tonk. She specializes in the areas of love and freedom. She can be found at www.sallyhope.com.
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As a thank you, you will get a surprise from me as well … an in-depth worksheet where you list out your ideal partner and relationship. When you are clear, they appear…It works like magic I tell ya. XO
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