Has the following ever happened to you when in a relationship?
- You lose yourself or forget who you are!
- You give up a lot of what you love.
- You are constantly bending and compromising.
- You go along with whatever your partner wants.
- You feel there is no room for your needs.
- You feel blindsided when things fall apart.
Do you know why this happens?
It’s because you don’t know who you are!
You are relying on this other person to guide you. You are hoping this relationship will fill in those gaps within yourself.
When you are not clear or strong in who you are, it is easy to get swept away.
It becomes less about ‘Love me for who I am’ and more about ‘Please love me’.
This is why I stopped doing my wish lists solely focused on my partner.
I wanted to be clear as to who I was regardless of being in a relationship or not.
But that was an evolution for me.
I used to do my wish list defining my Ideal Guy. That was it.
Then at a certain point I felt that it wasn’t enough. So I added in the concept of my Ideal Relationship as well. This made sense to me because your relationship is its own entity.
Knowing the type of relationship dynamic you want helps you design that when you meet the person!
Yet, something was still missing.
I would find the guy that fit my list and eventually I would create the relationship from my list, but I would give way more than my partner would.
I still felt that I needed to morph into whatever my partner or the relationship needed in order for me to keep it. I believed that I should feel lucky to simply be IN a relationship.
Basically, I did not feel super deserving.
I did not realize that most important of all of this was ME.
Because of these realizations, I started creating the list of my ideal SELF.
That is step one. Find your SELF!
Who you are and who you want to be are crucial areas to be focusing on!
It may feel weird and sound kind of like ‘Duh, self love, self knowledge, blah blah blah’ but honestly, we do not do this nearly enough. Especially as women!
After a couple of iterations, this is what I came up with:
I am a force to be reckoned with: I am not afraid to ask for what I want and get it effortlessly. I show up as my big, bright, beautiful, weird, silly, fun self. As the soft, strong, loving warrior that knows anything and everything is possible.
I am passionate, courageous, loving, powerful, fun, magical, confident, creative, playful, compassionate, generous, kind, responsible, caring, nurturing and carefree! I feel like the sexiest woman alive. I fully communicate my needs and desires.
People feel loved, inspired, supported and honored in my presence. I am humbled by the love and support in my life. I am the kind of person everyone wants to be around because there is a spark, an essence of care-free, a drive to be the biggest and best version of myself, a motivation to explore and live life to the fullest.
I am open, honest, communicative. I am a student of life and a wise mentor eager to share my gifts, insights and love with the world. I am a boundary pusher and a lover of the skinny branches. I am a true gypsy, nomadic and free, pure love and light!
I am inspired, motivated, driven, focused. I know I can create whatever my vision is, outlandish or not. I exude success, love, joy, freedom, power, sexiness. I am great at listening, trying new things and being fairly good at them. I love meeting new people and always creating a space of love, safety, inspiration and freedom.
Imagine how different it is for me now to put myself out there in the LOVE department?
I know who I am and what I deserve.
I know when I am off course or not honoring mySELF.
I don’t need someone else to validate my sense of self or prove my worthiness.
It is about ME being my awesome, strong, confident self finding my partner who is amazing in his own right, to then create the relationship that not only holds us both, but enhances us individually!
Since it is the season for giving, this is my gift to you … an in-depth worksheet to help you gain that clarity on yourself. As a bonus, you will extract the learnings from past relationships and get clear on your ideal partner and ideal relationship.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to get clear on YOU!
P.S. Another gift for you? A chance for us to work together for only $50! Whether it is a tarot reading, or a coaching session, you can purchase any number of sessions, redeem them at any time and even gift them to anybody.
This deep discount is available through the end of December. I want to help you … so let’s get this show on the road! To learn more, click HERE.
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